Growing Confidence

I'm sure you've heard girls say, "He just needs to be confident" or "Confidence is sexy". If you have to ask yourself if you're that confident guy, chances are you're not. So what do you do? You don't just take a magic confidence pill and bam! you're confident...no it doesn't work like that. What you can do, however, is learn about what it means to be confident and adopt it into your life style.

So what does it mean to be confident? Let's look at some characteristics of the perfectly confident man:

• He is unaffected by the outcome. Whether a situation (esp approaching girls) has a favorable ending or not, it does not affect you. Not in the slightest!
• He stays calm in the face of danger & rejection. This ties in with the point above, you always have to keep your cool no matter how shitty the situation is. No one looks up to the person who is losing his marbles or throws hissy-fits.
• He errors on the side of action, not inaction. You will not lie on your death bed regretting the things you did; you will regret the things you didn't do. When you're on the fence about doing something, do it! You will only learn from the outcome.
• He is not afraid of anything. Whether it's dealing with the cops, or approaching the Hooters waitress, or confronting drama, a confident guy is not afraid to get his hands dirty. He is the first to take the blame without being asked.
• He gives honest compliments and comes from a place of equality. You can't the 'that guy' if you continually see people higher or lower than you. We're all human, we all have 24 hours in our day, we all eventually die. Even the drop-dead-gorgeous-perfect-10-model is still a human being.
• It becomes his world because he acts like it already is. This goes back to the 'the world is mine' affirmation. Don't let the world / society dictate who or what you should be. Set your own rules and follow your own ways.
• He is confident because he is competent. If you do something long and often enough, you will become more at ease with it. Any problem or social situation can be dealt with easily once you have the knowledge, experience and tools.
• He moves very little, and every movement is purposeful and calculated. Have you ever noticed that people that need to draw a lot of attention to themselves usually have a lot of movement (most notably, they look around a lot)? Or how about, the low-status guys always have something to say, just for the sake of saying it without adding value to the discussion? Part of being confident is to just let go and not worry about every single little thing.

You can't wake up one morning and be confident. But you can start living a confident life, even if you have to fake it 'till you make it.